WEIRD TALES
EPISODE 4

THE BEAUTIFUL CARING NURSES

 

CAST

JUDITH                            (A ENGLISH BEAUTY 20-25)
MARIA                             (A ITALIAN BEAUTY 20-25)
CHUNHUA                       (A CHINESE BEAUTY 20 -25)
ISABELLA                       (A SPANISH BEAUTY 20 -25)
MATRON                         (FAT WOMAN OF ABOUT 55)
Tom PATIENT 1              (OLD AGED MAN IN HIS 70’S)
John PATIENT 2             (A MAN IN HIS 40S)
Ethel PATIENT 3             (A WOMAN IN HER 40’S)


MRS EDNA SMITH-ECCLES     (THE OWNER OF THE CARE HOME)

(THE ACTION TAKES PLACE IN A CARE HOME.    THE MOST VISITED PLACES ARE THE STAFF ROOMS AND THE THREE PATIENTS ROOMS. OTHER PLACES INCLUDE THE GARDEN AND THE TV ROOM)


FADE IN CAMERA 

OUTSIDE THE CARE HOME, IN CAR IN THE CARPARK WE SEE MRS SMITH-ECCLES GASPING FOR AIR AS THOUGH SHE HAS BEEN POISONED. AFTER A WHILE SHE DIES)

FADE OUT
FADE IN

(NURSE MARIA IS SITTING AT THE EDGE OF THE BED OCCUPIED TOM PATIENT 1. THEY ARE PLAYING STRIP POKER. MARIA UNIFORM IS UNBUTTONED AND WE CAN SEE HER BRA, WHILE TOM TOP LESS.)

TOM
(DEALING FIVE CARDS EACH. THEY TAKE THE CARDS AND PERUSE THEM.)
How many cards?

MARIA
(WITH AN ACCENT)
Three.

TOM
(DEAL THREE CARDS AND TAKES TWO HIMSELF)
I have two.
What have you got?

MARIA
Three aces!


TOM
Hard luck, I have a full house. Come off with you brassiere!

MARIA
OK, OK don’t rush me, as she slowly removes her bra.

TOM
(His face now is lustful and very cheerful. He rubs his hands together)
What a smashing pair.

FADE OUT
FADE IN

(THE GARDEN)
(ON A BENCH SITS JOHN IN HIS DRESSING GOWN READING A A LARGE NEWSPAPER WE SEE HIM FROM THE BACK ENOUGH TO SEE A PAIR OF KNEELING LEGS FROM UNDER HIM. THE IMPRESSION IS THAT THE WOMAN IS GIVING HIM A BLOW JOB. FROM HIS FACE WE SEE THAT HE’S IN ECSTACY AND HE KEEPS BITING HIS LIPS.)

(THE MATRON STANDS AT THE DOOR)

MATRON
How are you this morning Mr. Smith?

JOHN
(HE CAN HARDLY UTTER A WORD AND WITH DIFFICULTY)
I’m fine Matron.

MATRON
Don’t stay too long or you might catch something.

JOHN
I’m nearly finishing now, Matron.

MATRON
Good, that’s very good, I hope you are satisfied.

JOHN
More than satisfied Matron.

MATRON
Have you seen Nurse Judith?

JOHN
No, I don’t know where she is.


MATRON
If you see her tell I need to talk to here. She’s never around when you need her.

JOHN
If I see her I tell her.

MATRON
Now don’t exhaust yourself too much…..


(SHE GOES BACK)


JUDITH
(COMES OUT FROM BETWEEN HIS LEGS)
That was too close for comfort. Don’t tempt me to do it out here again.

JOHN
I was desperate.

JUDITH
(SORTS OUT HERSELF AND PULLS HER HAIR BACK)
I better go and see what the cow wants.

JOHN
You’re marvellous, thanks.

JUDITH
(AS SHE ABOUT TO LEAVE)
Marvellous my arse. You owe thirty pounds.

JOHN
Don’t worry I’ll double tonight when you come and see me with the pills.

JUDITH
(FROM INSIDE)
You must be joking.

(THE CAMERA NOW FOLLOWS JUDITH, WHO OPENS THE STAFF ROOM DOR WHERE THE MATRON AS HAVING A CUP OF COFFEE)

MATRON
(SEEING HER)
Where have you been?

JUDITH
I was attending Mrs Burrows? She wanted me to brush her hair.

MATRON
We have no time to give the beauty treatment too, you know.

JUDITH
It only took him two minutes. 

MATRON
Him?

JUDITH
I meant her, I was thinking of something else. Yes, I did it quickly she just had washed her hair……

(A bell is ringing and light on the board indicates No5)


MATRON
It’s her again, what does she want now?

JUDITH
I don’t know, I’ll better go and see what she needs.

MATRON
Forget it. I go, I want you to go to the dispensary and prepare their afternoon pills.


(THE MATRON EXITS)

JUDITH
Oh shit, I’m in trouble now. What if she asks her about her hair?

FADE OUT
FADE IN

(THE MATRON OPENS THE NO 5 DOOR AND ENTERS)

MATRON
Judith wanted to come and see you again.

ETHEL
Again? I haven’t seen her all day.

MATRON
But she said she was brushing you’re hair.

ETHEL
Brushing my hair. She must be joking. Would I let her touch my wig?

MATRON
I should have realised when she said you washed you hair.

ETHEL
Only you know that I have no hair, love. This Alopecia I had it since I was a child.

MATRON
I talk to her later. 
(They kiss passionately)
I’ll better go and see to those pills, I don’t trust that bitch.

ETHEL
Darling, you will never leave me will you?

MATRON
Of course not. What a question.

(SHE LEAVES SHUTTING THE DOOR)

FADE OUT
FADE IN


(NIGHT TIME)

(IN THE STAFFROOM. MARIA, CHUNHUA AND ISABELLA CHATTING. MARIA IS EATING A BAR OF CHOCOLATE. CHUNHUA IS DRINKING WATER FROM A BOTTLE AND ISABELLA IS READING A BOOK)

ISABELLA
How much did you make today?

MARIA
Not much that old man is mean after he nearly stripped naked he gave £10. I bet he is cheating me at strip poker.


CHUNHUA


You’re naive. The more you let him see, and maybe touch her and there the price will go up.

MARIA
You know something, that John is a sex maniac. Judith told me she gave him a quick blow-job in the garden, in the afternoon he made love to her……and before I gave the pills a few minutes ago had a go with me too. I don’t know where he gets his strength.

CHUNHUA
He must be made of money, the way he spreads it around with us. Yesterday he wanted to try a different position, It was not an ideal situation after I persuaded him to hand me 50, I let him try.

ISABELLA
Was good?

CHUNHUA
A bit painful, but there’s nothing like a neat vodka to take the pains away.

MARIA
We have to be careful with Matron, I think she smells something. She keeps asking a strange question.

CHUNHUA
Don’t worry about her. It so happened I know her secret too.

ISABELLA
Secret? What secret.

CHUNHUA
Who is her favourite patient in her?

MARIA
No 5, Mrs burrows.

CHUNHUA
Precisely

ISABELLA
You mean…….

MARIA
Her and matron are making it.

CHUNHUA
Not half, the other night I heard some noises in her room, I heard Matrons voice…..

MARIA
What where they doing.

CHUNHUA.
They weren’t praying that’s for sure.


(STANDS)
I’ll better go and earn some money from number 7. 

MARIA
How is he? I never tried him yet.


CHUNHUA
He’s very peculiar. He doesn’t like making love.

ISABELLA
What do you do then?

CHUNHUA
(MAKE A MOTION WITH HER HAND AS TO WANKING)

ISABELLA
That’s an easy job, don’t you think so.

CHUNHUA
Not it’s not. I don’t know what it is with him but it takes a very long time. Sometimes I get aches in my arm.
Well, here we go…… Cheerie bye.


(SHE EXITS)

MARIA
Well, I better be going, This is my first night off from here in three days, my husband will be dying for it.

ISABELLA
Mine too, but he’s easy-going and everything pleases him.

MARIA
See you the day after tomorrow.

ISABELLA
Of course. Take care.

MARIA
(EXITS)

ISABELLA
(FROM HER BRA SHE TAKES OUT A ROLL OF MONEY AND STARTS COUNTING IT)
Not bad, not bad at all. This way I’m sure I’ll but the new car quicker than I had expected.


FADE OUT
FADE IN

 


FADEOUT

(a FEW WEEKS LATER)

(IN THE STAFF ROOM ALL PRESENT AND SITTING DOW EXCEPT FOR MRS SMITH-ECCLES WHO IS STANDING OPPOSITE THEM SPEAKING. SHE IS VERY ANGRY AND FURIOUS WITH THE STAFF)

EDNA
I do not want to hear and explanations or excuses. This must stop. This is not a hotel and neither a bordello. What is the point of maintaining disciple if we are so confident with the patient? The patients are here to be taken care of and not to chat or entertainment. The other day while a patient was desperate for a bottle, Nurse Judith was playing Monopoly with No 5, what his name?

JUDITH
John Baxter. 

EDNA
Exactly.

MATRON
I do allow them a bit of freedom after all the patients are paying good money to stay here.

EDNA
That is not your business what they pay. Your job is to maintain discipline 24 hours a day. No playing games. Only caring for their needs.

CHUNHUA
But that’s what I do all the time, I see to their needs and more, I can assure you.

EDNA
Now there’s an example for you. If you all do like hell there won’t be in need of this meeting.

ISABELLA
We all do the same here, is that right Maria, Judith?

JUDITH
We all give them wholehearted satisfaction. Ask them Mrs. Smith-Eccles. I’m sure they give you the answer you want to hear.

EDNA
Well, that is obviously what you want me to do, and I expect that the patients will comply and agree with you. But there is going to be a change in the house. I am all giving a month notice as from today, in the meantime from next week I am hiring a new Matron and four new nurses. You ask for justice with your unions but when I show them the evidence that I have and had yet not mentioned that will agree with me totally. That is all!


(THERE IS GRUMBLING AMONG THE NURSES WHILE MATRON HER BACK TO EDNA MAKE A CUP OF TEA ADMINISTERING SOME POWDER INTO IT. SHE GIVES THE TEA TO EDNA WHO, IN TURN, PLACES IT ON THE TABLE.)
 
Now that is all settled you may go all to your work. Including you Matron. I want to have this cup of tea in peace.

(THEY ALL LEAVE AND EDNA SITS DOWN AND SIPS THE TEA HAPPILY.)

FADE OUT
FADE IN

MRS. SMITH-ECCLES ENTERING HER CAR. SHE’S ABOUT TO START THE ENGINE WHEN SHE STARTS BREATHING HEAVILY. BY NOW MRS SMITH-ECCLES IS GASPING FOR AIR AS THOUGH SHE HAS BEEN POISONED. AFTER A WHILE SHE DIES)

FADE IN
CREDITS