Pick Me Up

A Play in One Act


Juliette                       A Care Free woman. (Early 30s)

Brendan                     A thug. (In his 25s)

Andrew                      Well educated in his late 20s

The Action takes place on a Highway. Half the stage is a car and the other half is a lay by. If one scene is in darkness the other is lit and vice versa)

                                    (Scene One In the Car)

Juliette                        (Driving, she is listening to classical radio channel. Her mobile phone starts to ring and while she turns off the radio she talks freely using a hands free car kit. {} Pause) I told you not to bother me anymore. {} You don’t seem to understand that I cannot get involved with anyone. {} No {} I thought I made that clear. {} Yes it was great at the time. {} For Christ sake we only met two weeks ago and that was a mistake. {} Yes it was a mistake. I thought we were going to have some fun together. {} I know we did, I enjoyed every minute of it. {} I’m sorry Jack if that’s how you feel. {} You won’t find me. {} I left town last night, after I left your flat, that’s why {} Jack please stop it, you will not find me. I’m about 45 miles away already. {} I don’t think so. {} Do you think I’m stupid, I spoke to you now because I thought you deserved an explanation, but after the conversation is finished I’m destroying the sim card and installing a new one. {} Now I have to go because I’m tired, I’ve been driving all night and I haven’t had a rest yet. {} Of course I’m driving. It doesn’t concern you. {} Bye Jack! No that’s all. Bye. (She switches the radio back on and stops the car but the engine still going. We see her replacing the sim card and when she’s ready she throws the old one out of the window) That is that. (She starts to drive again)

                                    Fade-out lights and Fade-in Lights

                                    (The Car is stopped and Juliette is leaning over the passenger seat talking to Brendan who is bending down and talking through the window)

Brendan                      Are you going to pick me up or not?

Juliette                        That depends.

Brendan                      On what?

Juliette                        Let’s see, are you a mugger?

Brendan                      No.

Juliette                        A Rapist?

Brendan                      No.

Juliette                        Maybe a killer.

Brendan                      Neither.

Juliette                        (Unlocks the passenger door) Hop in then.

Brendan                      Thanks. (Enters the car and shuts the door)

Juliette                        (As she drives) How far do you go?

Brendan                      All the way.

Juliette                        Do you really?

Brendan                      Yes.

Juliette                        That’s what I like to hear.

Brendan                      I’m glad you agree. And you are?

Juliette                        Are names important?

Brendan                      No.

Juliette                        Then why do you want to know?

Brendan                      If you don’t want to tell me, don’t!

Juliette                        What are you doing  in this isolated spot?

Brendan                      Nothing.

Juliette                        Doing nothing is better than doing something. But that doesn’t answer my question.

Brendan                      I will tell you if you tell me what to call you.

Juliette                        Cleopatra, and I shall call you Mark Anthony.

Brendan                      No, Caesar is better.

Juliette                        I see, you aim very high don’t you.

Brendan                      Always. Listen Cleo, do you mind if I smoke?

Juliette                        No I don’t, as a matter of fact I feel like a joint too.

Brendan                      Hey, are you some sort of physic? How did you know?

Juliette                        I’m afraid your eyes betray you Caesar.

Brendan                      (He takes out his pouch of cannabis and starts to roll a joint) Where are you heading anyway?

Juliette                        I don’t know myself yet. Somewhere North I think.  And you?

Brendan                      I am heading to Birmingham, I live there you know. I came down here to buy some good stuff, you know what I mean?

Juliette                        Yes I do, but I still don’t understand how you ended up back there. You couldn’t have walked that’s sure.

Brendan                      No. I was trevelling with this old couple, and somehow I frightened them half way through.

Juliette                        I wonder why?

Brendan                      Do you? Anyway they stopped the car and the old geezer told me to get out of the car. I smiled and stayed seated, I was at the back you see. Do you know what the fucker did?

Juliette                        No?

Brendan                      He pulled a gun at me from the dashboard.

Juliette                        And that was the end of the trip?

Brendan                      Yep! So if you don’t mind stop me somewhere near Birmingham and I’ll be much obliged.

Juliette                        I’ll try my best. Are you ready with that joint yet?

Brendan                      Yes, here it is.

Fade-out lights and Fade-in Lights

                                    (Stage right. We are on the layby and the car is parked on the other side))

                                    (Brendan is standing sorting out his trousers, (He is is pulling them up, and tightening them while Juliet is sitting on the ground sorting out herself, (the bra etc. Obviously they have just finished making love. Brendan sits beside again and kisses her again)

Brendan                      That was wonderful.

Juliette                        Yes it was, I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it.

Brendan                      Not as much as I am going to enjoy it now.

Juliette                        You mean again?

Brendan                      No, I mean this. (Takes out a flick knife out from his socks) I’m mean this?

Juliette                        Stop mucking around?

Brendan                      Who said I’m mucking around. (Goes to the car opens the front door and looks) Where are the keys? Come on hand them to me.

Juliette                        (Scared) No.

Brendan                      You don’t want me to harm you do you?

Juliette                        No please, no.

Brendan                       Then throw me the keys now.

Juliette                        Come and get them if you want them so much.

Brendan                      Don’t worry I will. (And he moves towards her) Come on don’t play games with me or I will cut you.

Juliette                        (Show him the keys) Here they are.

Brendan                      (Bends down to take the keys and she jumps at him there is a struggle and they are both on the ground fighting)

Fade-out lights

(Still in darkness we hear the car moving at a great speed, with loud music on) 

Fade-in Lights

(This will give a chance for Brendan to untie his hands. He is sitting in the front seat of the car unconscious while Juliette is happily driving. After a short while she turns the music down looks at Brendan and with one hand she smacks him on the face to wake him up. He moves his head slightly and start to come to his senses, he lift his hands they are both tied with a wire, he tries to move but she calms him down)

Juliette                                    Hey calm down. Or I’ll put you back to sleep.

Brendan                      (Confused) What have you done to me?

Juliette                                    Now tell me you’re an intelligent guy, what do you think happened to you.

Brendan                      (Angry) You’re a fucking bitch. Let me loose?

Juliette                        (Showing him the flick knife)Did you know what you wanted to do to me with this? Do you remember?

Brendan                      (Laughing half-heartedly) I was only joking, I was not going to harm you.

Juliette                                    That’s what you’re saying now.

Brendan                      No I mean it. Please believe me.

Juliette                                    Give me one good reason to believe you?

Brendan                      Because we made love?

Juliette                        If I believed all the guys I made love to, then I’ll be the most gullible person in the world.

Brendan                      (Trying to get his hands free) Come on now the joke has gone far enough.

Juliette                                    The joke hasn’t even started yet.

Brendan                      (Confused) What do you mean.

Juliette                        I mean you’re going to stay tied up as you are until I decide what to do with you.

Brendan                      (Curious) You’re taking me to the police?

Juliette                        Police, what for? So that they put you in the nick and let you go free the next day? No I have better plans for you.

Brendan                      (Angry) Like what!

Juliette                                    (Smiling) Killing you!

Brendan                      Why, because I was going to steal you car?

Juliette                                    No!

Brendan                      (Angrier) Then why for fuck sake?

Juliette                                    Because I like to kill men especially after I have fucked them.

Brendan                      (Angrier) You’re sick!

Juliette                                    Yes that’s right. What are you going to do about it?

Brendan                      (Defeated) Nothing!

Juliette                                    (Pats him on the head) That’s a good boy.

Fade-out lights and Fade-in Lights

                                    (We hear the car stopping and Juliette leans over the passenger seat talking to Andrew who is bending down and talking through the window)

Andrew                       Would you give me a lift please?

Juliette                        That depends.

Andrew                       On what?

Juliette                        Let’s see, are you mugger?

Andrew                       No I’m not

Juliette                        A Rapist?

Andrew                       Neither.

Juliette                        Maybe a killer.

Andrew                       I’m not that’s for sure.

Juliette                        (Unlocks the passenger door) Hop in then.

Andrew                       Thanks. (Enters the car and shuts the door) How far do you go?

Juliette                        (As she drives and laughs) How far do you want me to go?

The End