POEMS NOT PUBLISHED 

Once Dreaming Forever Lonely

It was the sunshine that woke me up from a dreadful dream,

For I was dreaming of you dead;

Sending me messages from behind the darkest clouds,

Then I've flown away to meet you though loneliness came instead.

 

Every time I reached you I was pulled back to my bed,

I couldn’t be less comfortable;

The sweat covered my body and I was cold,

To wake up by the sun rays was inevitable.

 

I shall never fall in love again if you go,

Life is already blurred with you hospitalised;

When the faraway sun rises again and wakes me from the same dream

Why do I become anxious and unrecognized?

 

Even with a warm heart, it's difficult not to shed tears

As my packed with love I feel it like a chamber full of fears.

 

Fighting My Emotions Knowing That I Lose

 

If my affections, anger me

Why should I concern with desire

As of despair, I have no sympathy

Only grief that’s send my heart on fire.

 

When excitement comes along,

And feeling euphoric more than I wish for,

My emotional arousal becomes intense

As happiness fades again and sadness appears once more.

 

What is joy if there is no love?

No one must mingle passion with pride;

Satisfaction becomes unfulfilled,

Rage takes over and one finds that love has died.

 

Feeling remorse does not send me into sadness,

My sentiments become filled with shame;

Sorrowful moments arise quickly and drown sympathy.

The warmth vanishes and I will feel all the blame.

The affect I sustain with all the agitation of betrayal

All commotions subside and my mind closes in on despondency

For the disturbance of my sense are great, the drive ecstasy away,

No elation shall come between all these emotions of a discrepancy.

 

Volatility overrides inspiration, melancholy, and perturbation

My response is without satisfaction,

Overwhelmed by sensation,

And reaction.